i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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