Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He did a backflip because drugs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
