bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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