I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
