I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He passed out mid-signature
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
