That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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