This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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