im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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