Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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