i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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