Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize