try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
