We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
