That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
