my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
