I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
