I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
