i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
