worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize