Me. At least after what I've been through.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
