I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
