I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
