I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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