OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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