is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
