Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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