Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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