So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
