Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You pole danced in your parka.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
