We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
