this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
