You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
