Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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