he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
