Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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