Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
