dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
