nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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