I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm at about main and main street
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
