I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
