Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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