I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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