I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize