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I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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