Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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