fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There r osticjed everywhere
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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