I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
