i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
