We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
