I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize