When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
