i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
