I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
