You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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