I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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