i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
