i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
