I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
