You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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