Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
