omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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