I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
