He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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