Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
